Wall Street Journal: TIC TOK serves up a diet of anxiety, darkness and alarm

Parents/Caretakers/Family Members/ this is for you:

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available.

Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

While social media has many benefits around connection and belonging, alarming research on the negative even fatal effects social media has on our children from the Center for Countering Digital Hate has come out via a shocking Wall Street Journal article highlighted here by writer Julie Jargon.

Algorithms on social platforms like Tic Tok are narrowing more and more each day they run, as they were designed but at what cost? How may suicides, burials and family’s lives turned upside down will push us out of our comfort zone to put an end to our children’s needless suffering?

The social media triggering within minutes a young person enters this social space has got to stop.

It begs us to ask how does this toxic and disparaging social influence effect the minds of our future generations, those who become Mothers, Fathers, CEO’s and International leaders? What world are we allowing for our grandchildren and their children? One of self hate, discord and disharmony? Let’s certainly hope not.

Bold steps are needed to prevent this not to be so, more over to prevent any more young lives from unnecessarily be taken from us prematurely.

Our children and young adults need us NOW more than ever to establish life saving boundaries between corporate bottom line agendas and the innocent lives of those we love, before it’s too late.

Please share below how has social media has affected you or your family this year.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org

Time to Move-It Move-it Move-it!

#playsweatwin

Any time we try something new, change a routine, or set out on a new adventure, uncertainty creeps in, but let’s not be stopped in our tracks or prevented from experiencing the joy of a newfound activity- maybe even one that makes us sweat! Is it possible? Absolutely!

Instead of sticking to the same old exercise routine, getting bored, and ultimately giving up, the American Psychological Association suggests we get moving in order to feel better!   “The link between exercise and mood is pretty strong,” says Michael Otto, PhD, a professor of psychology at Boston University. “Usually within five minutes after moderate exercise, you get a mood enhancement effect.”

Personally, when I need an attitude change or to jump-start a sluggish day, especially after being cooped in during the pandemic, I find there’s nothing more effective than moving out and about in nature or exerting myself physically in a different environment even for just a few minutes.   The goal is to find workouts or a variety of activities that work for you and your lifestyle. Our bodies need to move in order to relieve stress so mixing it up from time to time helps leave boredom behind.

Regularly, either on a particularly stressful day or simply because I know a loaded day is ahead, I slip on my running shoes, leap out of my office, and hit the trails for a good 30-minute power walk. Without exception, within five minutes, I feel the stress drain out of my mind and chest, and my brain clears, allowing solutions to naturally drift into view.  Seems so simple- yet we unnecessarily make it so hard to put into practice. Getting up and out does work and it’s worth a try if you haven’t done so already.  Think of it like training a pet, when something feels good and we get positive rewards from practicing a new behavior, we go back for more!

Another routine I have when I’m on the road is making sure my swim bag and towel are always in my travel gear or in the back of my car. I’ve had a membership at my local YMCA with reciprocal privileges at other YMCA’s around the country-so I have lots of choices if I need to take some time to clear my head and re-energize. Additionally, when I travel, I make sure to pick hotels with swimming pools:  I can always make time for a quick deep-end treading session or a few laps--plus it puts me right to sleep- an incredible added benefit of staying active while away from home.

The emphasis here is: that whatever you do to get yourself moving and give your body what it needs, you can’t go wrong! Try a few things that work for you and make you excited to move (don’t worry- the soreness subsides – just keep going)!  And in order to maintain your newfound momentum and make it fun, include your family, friends, and co-workers. Why not try pole dancing (one of the hardest workouts I’ve done, talk about sweating---really fun but not as easy as you would think), dancing, hiking, biking, paddle boarding, yoga, whatever gets you into your happy place? Just do it as Nike has so rightfully coined.  Whatever you do, go there, be your bad self, and shine.

Good luck!  

Cleaning up our Skincare Act

Cleaning up our Skincare Act

What we use on our skin affects our body on the inside

Since our skin is the largest organ in our body and is the barrier between us and the outside world, why not take care of it the same way we take care of our most prized possessions? When our stomach aches after we eat, we look to our diet to figure out the problem, when our joints hurt we rest, apply a mentholated balm, or stretch to help combat the pain. The bottom line, if we take care of our skin by applying clean, nontoxic products to it, it will naturally take care of us for the rest of our lives. 

Skin Care is Big Business:

We can’t make a turn in the US without hearing the benefits of the next serum, gel, lotion, or potion extolling its beauty benefits, promising the fountain of youth.  There’s a good reason! The global beauty industry makes approximately  $511Billion a year while the clean beauty industry is on a trajectory reaching $22 Billion by 2024, according to Statista Research. 

One of my favorite clean youth skin care brands: Good For You Girls IG: @goodforyougirls 

Why Clean?

Learning how to have a healthy relationship with our skin starts by using clean skincare products, sidestepping unnecessary ills that come with toxin-laden, dirty products.  Conventional vs. Clean.  Health vs. ?  Sadly most conventional brands and products have yet to embrace the green/clean movement, thus putting their customer’s health into jeopardy. 

When will everyone address and eliminate dangerous toxins from their products? For the sake of our health, let's have our wallets do the talking by consistently making a clean choice. 

A few of my favorites: Salty Girl Beauty,  Rosebud, Violets Are Blue, Good For You Girls , Joaquin Botanicals, Graydon, and …..my list continues

Read Your Labels:

We read our food labels, now please read your skincare labels. If you can’t pronounce a word that takes a full line of its own, buyer beware.  Toxins to stay away from petroleum, parabens, aluminum, coal tar, Phthalates, Silicones, detergents, BHA, BHT, Gluten (why is gluten -wheat in beauty products??), and synthetic fragrances and dyes to name a few. Please refer to The Never List to see other products that you should never use on your body and eliminate from your bathroom or makeup repertoire. All of these products (and many more) can be extremely toxic to us. These ingredients can cause a disruption of our body’s natural bacteria, cause irritations, clog our pores and create a build-up, moreover get absorbed into our bodies and negatively affect our internal organs. 

As for the environment, consciously aware packaging usually goes hand in hand with clean products they contain, whereas conventional products using hard plastic bottles, tops or applicators will continue to add to an ever-increasing problem negatively impacting our planet for up to 400+ years before it completely decomposes. Instead, look for products with upcycled or recycled paper packaging, reusable containers, or no packaging at all.  Every little conscious decision and purchase makes a difference! 

To add to my favorites check out  BOOM! By Cindy Joseph and Raw & Co websites. 

BOOM! Has a wildly popular product called BOOMSILK , a real game-changer in the moisture providing category. Made with purified water, organic extra virgin olive oil, beeswax with naturally occurring pollen and propolis, honey with naturally occurring royal jelly, tocopherols (Natural Vitamin E), Boom Silk can be used on your face and for all over body goodness. 

Raw & Co offers a miracle balm product called ‘Heal’ both in a jar or a to-go stick that helps heal dry skin, chapped lips, itchy skin, eczema, rashes, burns, acne, and can also be used as under eye cream and is safe for baby skin. 

Heal and all the products at Raw&Co are the brainchild of naturopath and CEO Dr. Kristen Haabala. 

Blue Beauty Movement

A long-time beauty ingredient purist and creator of the Blue Beauty Movement, Jeannie Jarnot promotes and highlights companies that are both clean for our bodies and the environment.  

Puffiness be gone, naturally! Violets Are Blue @violetsareblue 

OMG, seriously this gives life to tired skin! www.Graydonskincare.com

When we use products marked as Blue Beauty, the higher standard of quality kicks it up a notch where not only are the products good for our use, when discarded they don't harm the environment. Companies like, Joaquina Botanica Graydon, Violets are Blue, and many more now are beginning to fulfill this standard and populate the Blue Beauty market.  Click here for more information about @BeautyHeros and other clean beauty products in the Blue Beauty Movement.

A big shout out to my ever hard working intern Hailey Tedesco for her research and help on our clean skincare blog!

Clean, Non-Toxic beauty for all!

Clean, Non-Toxic beauty for all!

Millions of women around the world use makeup to highlight our assets. But did you know that these same products can be harmful to us and our bodies if they are not labeled non-toxic/clean? Sadly yes. Also Vegan-only  labeling without the non-toxic identifiers only means that while animal products are not used other toxic products and chemicals are most likely present. So buyer be aware. Read your labels!

Any product made with parabens, coal tar dye, propylene glycol, aluminum powder, “natural” fragrances are toxic and once repeatedly applied on our skin, the largest organ of our body can lead to serious health issues, overtime.. To become more familiar with what toxins you don't want in your products, check out Beauty Counter’s  The Never List.

When it comes to products like mascara and lipsticks/glosses we have to be careful what we put close to our eyes, nose, and mouths, as these are the direct passages to our internal organs.  Many makeup products these days contain petroleum, and the first thing we think of is vaseline, BUT it’s also one of the main components of gasoline. Salty Girl Beauty is a good alternative! So every time you reach for vaseline or any products containing petroleum, you are putting gasoline into your body (you might never have thought about your makeup like this, but better now than having complications further down the road). I strongly encourage you to look through your makeup bags and rejuvenate your beauty routine. It may seem like an inconvenience to get rid of some of these tried and true products to find new ones with the same punch without harsh chemicals but I promise you OUR BODIES WILL THANK US, eliminating health issues from even developing. It’s time to clean up our beauty act!

Thrive Causemetics makes makeup products without harmful chemicals and they donate money to organizations like Black Women’s Health Imperative, UMOM Day Centers, National Breast Cancer Foundation, Foundation for Women Warriors, and Breonna Taylor Memorial Scholarship Fund. Their egg shell blue mascara tube is hands down the best around! So not only are you taking care of yourself with these products but you are also helping these important causes. 

The Beauty Counter is a good go-to resource on harmful products in beauty as well as first steps replacing our old products with new clean ones. Along with Beauty Counter, Bobbi Brown’s new clean line Jones Road Beauty is another great brand to get the skincare and beauty products we want without the harmful ingredients. And lastly, Blue Beauty is a movement really a revolution to highlight and shout out to clean green brands for both the user (US!) and environment easily.

Enjoy checking out all the links and leave your comments below of what you learn and want to contribute to carrying on the conversation there!

Thank you to our amazing intern Hailey Tedesco for your research and editing help!!!

Raising a Girl Who Knows and Loves Her Body

My Mom Sally, and me. Central Park Zoo, NYC 1968

Raising a Girl Who Knows and Loves Her Body

Happy International Day of the Girl!

Today I'm sharing part of some research on raising girls who love their bodies.
Girls at menarche don't suddenly appear, fully formed, as young women. By this point, they have accumulated more than a decade of impressions and ideas about themselves, their bodies, their worthiness, and how they are expected to behave.

If they don’t enter adolescence with boundaries and a sense of self, they are set up to have body shame, feel pressure to conform, and not know what they want or how to talk about it. They often don’t know how to assert their needs with adults—and in the worst cases, they are vulnerable to violation.

There is an immense opportunity in the first 12 years of a girl’s life for our next generation of women to be purged of unhelpful, regressive beliefs.

Studies have shown that mothers carry the culture of womanhood within them.

So when we change our own world views, our daughters pick up on it. To prepare a girl for a life where her woman-self experiences sensual, sexual, and reproductive joy, parents can teach their daughter (or daughters!) to:

• Know her intrinsic worthiness

• Learn that her body belongs to her

• Name her intimate body parts

• Normalize talk about all of her body

• Feel her body from the inside, not just look at it from the outside

• Find her joy in movement

• Name her likes, dislikes, and desires

• Know that she is not limited by gender

• Protect herself from ill-intentioned adults

• Christia Brown, an expert in adolescence, says, "It's about using your body in a way that feels comfortable and strong to you, and feels that you're the agent in charge of your own being—not an object for someone else."

These rules could apply equally to boys in our culture. But women have a larger set of cultural body challenges, and more predatory behaviors to recognize and overcome.

It's the job of adults to protect children, but we can't be there for them all the time. So how do we help them protect themselves? Shockingly, one in nine girls under the age of 18, and one in 53 boys, experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult. There are places where kids are particularly at risk, and we need to monitor their physical environments. Some of the riskiest places are with so-called "trusted" adults! So a lot of their preparation for such situations must be internal.

“I do what I am told” is one of the most damaging messages to a girl's sense of self. Girls (and boys) have to know what to say when an adult oversteps a boundary. To do this, they must be comfortable with “respectful disobedience”: knowing safety protocols, and intuiting when it is not safe to do what an adult says. And when our daughters and sons approach us with their concerns, we as adults have to listen and act.

Let us keep unwinding unhelpful beliefs in ourselves, our daughters, and our granddaughters.

All love, to your eternal beauty.

Christine Marie Mason

Founder, Rosebud Woman

Thank you Christine for your powerful words above. I feel blessed to know you my new soulful and empowered friend.

It’s an honor to highlight empowered women who speak their truth on behalf of others. Any take-away gems from “Raising a Girl Whol Knows and Loves Her Body” above are seeds of Christine’s life’s work and truth. It’s my hope we can plant these seeds in fertile ground for more self-love to permeate not only our own lives but the lives of our most important resource, our children.

*reposted from Rosebud Woman October 12, 2021

Is Blocking Abortion The Answer? (Trigger warning)

Future Generation’s March Attendee

**Trigger warning

On a bright cool morning this past Saturday, I was honored to have joined with thousands of others at the Women’s Reproductive Rights March in Montclair, New Jersey. 

With 42 million reported abortions currently performed each year in the US alone, the need is great.  By banning abortion and eliminating a women’s choice, increased deaths, depression, and suicide have a great propensity to result. 

There are few words to describe how inspiring it was to see so many different kinds of people, young, old, and all genders come together to support this important call to action during this monumental time.

First Texas, then what? 

Before legislation is overturned and a women’s right to choose is eliminated, we must ask ourselves, “are we looking at this issue through the lens of a woman?” And “whose right is it to enforce one’s religion or beliefs on another in the land of the free and the brave?” “What more can help victims needing abortions put their perpetrators for their harmful act behind bars?”

As per the Center for Disease Control,  18 million women reported having experienced vaginal assault (rape, incest, non-consensual intercourse) in their lifetime, and 3 million of these women were reported having gotten pregnant. Each year, approximately 42 million women were reported to have had an abortion. That’s 42,000,000 women A YEAR who had to make this grueling decision. To add Insult to injury, 68,000 women a year die due to 25 million unsafe abortions, and of those, 5 million suffer from health problems for the rest of their lives. 

What causes me to stop in my tracks are the 42 million women a year already in need of these services. What happens if other states follow Texas’ lead?  Let’s stop and catch our breath and ask ourselves, how can we protect women more? How can we educate young men and women better on sexual health and social etiquette, and adjust our sails to steer the focus to finding solutions that support and enable the rights of a woman to live a safe life securely in this great country of ours. Not to take away a service that can give her a better life due to a bad decision, especially under the forceful hand and body of another. 

For more information- 

#MyBodyMyChoice #ProChoice #BansOffOurBodies #RallyForAbortionJustice

@PPact @PlannedParenthood @Caren.Spruch

https://www.cdc.gov/pregnancy/meds/treatingfortwo/features/ssrisandbirthdefects.htmlch

Thank you, Hailey Tedesco, EAI intern for your hard work while in your senior year at Pascack High School!!

Body Appreciation + Weight Stigma Awareness Week

Weight Stigma Awareness Week is here! 

Throughout  September 26th- October 5th, keep your eye out for podcasts, blogs like this one, TV appearances, and more focusing on celebrating the magnificent bodies we have, especially the beauty in our difference

Why do we need a week to remind us to be kinder to our bodies and the bodies of those we love, and even those we don't know?  Weight stigma, or weight bias, affects everyone.  Kids, Teens, young adults, adults, grandparents - grandparents, really? You bet. People of all ages and sizes can experience judgment about their weight and appearance. In fact, on social media, a person’s weight is one of the first topics that people comment on, whether it’s a celebrity in a magazine or a stranger in a coffee shop. 

Try this instead. During this awareness week practice something different - do and say things that will lift ourselves up, not tear ourselves down right from the moment we get up till the time we tuck in at night. Notice how many times you self-corrected and pat yourself on the back. Through these acts of self-care and awareness at home, in school, and at work, we have a fighting chance to live more freely within our own bodies. Allowing us quality time we spend with others, reducing stress and judgment.  

If enough of us become more aware of HOW we speak to ourselves and others in our lives, we can begin to eliminate our own stigmas and learn to thank our body for everything it does for us, every day, hour, week, month, year after year. 

If you put yourself out there, people will most likely have a comment to share. By building one’s self-confidence and self-care practice helps buffer the sting. However, what many of us forget a person’s weight is a personal matter and can be affected by many things outside of one’s diet or lifestyle. Without this understanding and sensitivity, herein lies the damaging effect: There are approximately 10,200 deaths every year directly related to eating disorders which weight stigmas and body image-related issues fall under.  Bullying a leading cause of school kids needing to be homeschooled is the most unkind form of weight stigma and usually has much less to do with the victim but so much more about the bully's lack of familial support and kindness shown to them.  Nevertheless, bullying is never helpful and needs to be addressed immediately. 

In all, being confident in your body starts with YOU and definitely should not be based on what others say. There’s no way around it, inner confidence is an inside job. 

You've got this and I encourage you to check out all the links here. Please share in the comments below how your newfound awareness during this week made you feel and if so inclined, Please share with a friend!

Here are a few of the best ways to de-stigmatize weight in your own head:

1. Appreciate the things that our bodies can do for us, our heartbeats every single second of every single day, year in and year out for decades, our lungs breathe in air to fill our cells with life-giving elements, we feel emotions in order to laugh and cry, and remember- our bodies take us wherever we want to go, so don’t be afraid to thank it frequently with lots of self-affirming, uplifting affirmations! 

• Use affirmations to keep our minds on the positive side of things so we don’t drown in the negative thoughts. For example, “I deserve to love my body,”, “My body allows me to live this life,”, “I am so much more than my body,”, “my body is my best friend,” can all help us gain the mindset to help us through a mentally hard time. 

• Wear clothes that make us feel comfortable. At the end of the day, the number on a tag is only something we can see, so don’t mind the size tag when buying clothes, if we feel good, we automatically look good. 

• Give your closet a good healthy edit. Remove all clothing that doesn’t fit you well, right now. You never know how important and the positive impact your donated clothes will have on another person!

Here are some helpful tips for managing social media and technology:

1. Don’t be afraid to turn off your notifications for 2-3 hours every day

2. Use an alarm clock instead of being reliant on your phone

3. Be aware of your usage, set boundaries and rewards when you’re successful

For additional information:

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

https://www.center4research.org/social-media-affects-mental-health/ 

https://www.chatsinthelivingroom.com/ 

https://anad.org/get-informed/about-eating-disorders/eating-disorders-statistics/

A special thank you Wendy Oliver-Pyatt for founding this much-needed Weight Stigma Awareness Week. Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, MD, FAED, F.IAEDP, is the founder of the Oliver-Pyatt Centers and Clementine. She is the author of Questions and Answers about Binge Eating Disorder, A Guide for Clinicians (Jones and Bartlett Learning, 2017). Wendy is in private practice in Miami, Florida, and is available for consultation, supervision, and treatment throughout the country via telemedicine. For more information, please visit www.wendyoliverpyatt.com.
Many thanks to our intern Hailey Tedesco for editing + research for this blog!

Our Social Dilemma Opportunity

The Social Dilemma documentary/drama on Netflix hits home and stops us in our tracks. The film is a must-see. It's no surprise we're painfully addicted to our phones for a multitude of real and very dangerous reasons but little did we know how much serious money was being made at our expense.

The Social Dilemma

The New Documentary/drama On Netflix

One of the most important films of 2020, and that's putting it lightly.

I think it's safe to say we've all heard engaging in social media can be and is addicting for millions of children, young folks, and adults, but that's more than an understatement today.  I'm not exaggerating.  If you haven't seen The Social Dilemma yet, please do and tell all those you love to watch it also.

Dilemma's timing couldn't be more in line with an epidemic of mental wellness slowly being pushed harder and harder with everything shaking stability underfoot today. What's at stake here is a whole lot more than simple mindless entertainment - an entire business has been built under our noses making billions upon billions of dollars off of what we do online. Every move, purchase, search engine lookup, every second online is being tracked for big money. Our online actions are being traded as -  human futures.  I can't believe I just wrote that. The new commodity happens to be you and I and everyone else around the world, who owns a smartphone. According to PewResearch.org, "Today, it is estimated that more than 5 billion people have mobile devices, and over half of these connections are smartphones."

Daunting right? Without a question, but therein lies a treasure trove of opportunity.  Knowledge is Power - Beacon

• We can disengage if not greatly limit our usage to such an extent, the campaigns utilizing AI technology will not have an opportunity to track us as they have anymore. It takes a group effort, a collective action - globally. If we do, keeping we can break this chain of maleficence.

• With all these newfound hours, we can get back outside, put in our 10k steps come rain, shine, or snow.

• Be present in the here and now - soak in the color change fall brings us.

• Take a break from our home office, call up a friend, and have a socially distanced cup of coffee, outside.

• Re-engage in life and ask if every time we reach for our phone, "is it necessary, does this bring me joy, happiness?

• As entrepreneurs, we post socially to make a living. We can do just that then walk away.

• Create a social media consumption competition at work and at home (with rewards) to see who can reduce most. This way as a whole, we get a real understanding of how much everyone is consuming and encourage each taking responsibility and owning their part of the solution.

• Start discussions around what ethics is and how it applies to our families and businesses we support by buying their products. If there is a disconnect, be bold and speak up. Holding folks accountable opens up communication lines.

• Question of the day: If the banks are all deeply regulated, why aren't social media companies regulated as well by holding them to the same ethical standards that other industries need to follow?

• Lastly, put an end to fake news. (putting my old reporter's hat on here). Check the source. Bonafide news is taken very seriously by dedicated, hard-working journalists, educated and trained to honor what they communicate and how they communicate to the masses. The power a journalist has on-air and off, has many checks and balances to make sure what they communicate given their best ability is correct. Put this power in the wrong hands, we've got problems as we see today. Any news source outside of this gold standard is not delivering the news. Period.

Thank you Medium's Brad Dibben  -- to learn more of what is mentioned in the film, check out Brad's list here:

• Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked by Adam Alter (Book)

• Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier (Book)

• The Age of Surveillance Capitalism: The Fight for a Human Future at the New Frontier of Power by Shoshana Zuboff (Book)

• How a Handful of Tech Companies Control Billions of Minds Every Day and How Better Tech Could Protect Us From Distraction by Tristan Harris (TED Talks)

• Moment by Tim Kendall (App)

A message from MAHENDI

Mahendi Projects support ending violence against women world wide UseCode: Emmex

Photo: Emme

My dear friend Tera, co-founder of Mahendi, and one of MY 2020 FAVORITE THINGS collaborative partners wrote this heartfelt letter today to all her customers and felt moved to share it with you…It is my hope we all stay home, rest, restore and return better and more appreciative, most especially for the little things than when all this started. Much love, Emme

Dear MAHENDI Fam,

I know things have been hectic and uncertain lately. With the extra time on our hands, we've been thinking about you and the women, families, and communities we support. The initial thought is to appreciate the things we have. I am hopeful that all of you have food and supplies, and if you still need to grab a few things, don't forget to thank the individuals who are working. At MAHENDI, we are fortunate to be able to work from the comfort of our homes to reduce the overall transmission and impact of COVID-19.

While we can all appreciate the things we have, it reminds us why our mission and your purchase matter. In times of crisis, gender inequality issues often intensify. These may include increased levels of gender-based violence and limited or no access to life-saving services. Thank you for supporting MAHENDI, the UNITED NATIONS TRUST FUND to end violence against women globally, and being a part of our alliance to empower hope and inspire change…because everyone deserves a life free from violence.

I encourage all of you to take a deep breath, be kind, and think about people who are outside of your circle. Take a minute to think of 3 things you are thankful for. It has helped me stay grounded and calm my worries.

1. My family is healthy.
2. I am safe.
3. I have more than enough.

The health and safety of our entire MAHENDI family is our priority. As we continue going forward, we are taking appropriate precautions to ensure our products follow the suggested guidelines by the CDC. We will continue to monitor the situation, but if you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to reach out: tera@mahendiprojects.com

In the meantime, wash your hands, stay calm, and check on those you love. If we stay on this path together, we will be stronger and healthier.

With clarity, wisdom, strength, and grace,

Tera Herman,
MAHENDI Founder

Photo: Mahendi Use Code: Emmex

SALON WEDNESDAYS: Welcomes Julianne Cantarella, The Official New Jersey’s MatchMaker!

Helping us find love in all the right places, the Emme Tribe had a robust conversation during last night’s #EmmeLive Salon Wednesdays with my friend Julianne Cantarella, founder of From First Date to Soulmate™ Coaching Program and co-host of Live with the Vibe YouTube advice show. We had so much fun asking as many questions as we could of Julianne we didn’t see we hit 60 minutes when Instagram suddenly turned off the lights! But that didn’t stop us from jumping back on and continuing our love chat!

Top take-aways for finding a lasting/committed relationship:

• It’s ok to date multiple people at the same time

• Make sure you want to date. (seems obvious but don’t waste anyone’s time).

• By understanding who you are better, you will know what you want in a partner.

• Do not over-invest in one person until he/she has shown you who they are and their values align with yours.

• Stay open, interesting and smart when dating online.

• Never get in a car or be picked up from your home for your first few dates (again, be smart)

• Do not waste your time pretending to be someone you are not, or trying too hard. Step up and put your game on for a good first impression when you go out, allow a flow between you.

• Coffee date good for a first date — 30-45 mins right on time-wise, a quick energy feel, allowing both parties wanting more (if this is the case) or cutting bait if a no-go.

• Let the man pay for coffee on the first date, if an issue, take note and move forward, or not.

• Refrain from making excuses for dates you don’t know well enough. Let your date show you who they are, better now than later after you kick yourself for denying the issue(s) staring right at you all along. Having confidence allows you to take your time and have faith dating works with patience.

Julianne Cantarella - The Original New Jersey’s Matchmaker

There were men and women in the tribe eagerly requesting Julianne’s dating coaching contact information which I’ve included below.

Good luck and keep the tribe in the loop! We all love a good romantic story.

New Jersey's Matchmaker

Julianne Cantarella

Julianne’s Social Media Platforms:

Facebook

LinkedIn

Twitter

Instagram

Live With The Vibe Show:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk72TjSKm-c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_4B7flpK0U&t=43s

A little about Julianne (from her site):

Matchmaker, Dating Coach, & Relationship Expert

Julianne Cantarella is NEW JERSEY'S MATCHMAKER, a licensed therapist with a deep passion for people. Known for her personal approach to matchmaking and relationship coaching, she gets to know her clients on a meaningful level, in order to create lasting relationships. Most importantly, Julianne knows that every one of her clients is a unique individual with a unique set of needs. A professional Matchmaker since 2005, Julianne has the skills to successfully match her clients with their perfect partner. With honed assessment skills, networking skills and intuition Julianne specializes in helping New Jersey singles find love in today’s modern dating world.

Julianne’s personal story:

 When I began the dating process all those years ago, like you, I was having a difficult time meeting a quality partner. Intuitively and viscerally, I would respond knowing that the man sitting across from me was not a good fit. There was nothing familiar or comfortable about him. I couldn’t figure out why I kept meeting and attracting men who were not what I was looking for; they did not share my goals, values or vision of a relationship. After enduring the pain of one failed relationship after another I recognized a need for change.

Thank you so much again, Julianne, for sharing Salon Wednesdays with the tribe, you were so inspiring. It’s not every day you have the Original New Jersey’s MatchMaker and dating coach in the house-sharing prized tips and tried and true advice nuggets to help us fortify the love we have and being courageous finding the love of our life! xo

#PLAYSWEATWIN 2020!!

Play. Sweat. Win. 

This year, I intend to clear the way for more of an abundant mindset in what I say and do. That includes intentionally taking action around my self-care, on a consistent basis - no matter how busy I am, I’m scheduling my movement time. 

It’s a must to schedule workouts! In 2020 I’m entering two Triathlons, a Spartan Stadion race at Citi Field with Dr. Jenn, an ABC Chief Medical Correspondent, ObGyn, Nutritionist, Best-selling Author, Fitness Freak ! (We’re going to have so much fun!) and more!

My wellness journey doesn’t just begin with healthy eating habits and incorporating a workout regimen into my everyday routine. It takes determination and self-motivation to be able to train and endure rough terrain, extreme temperatures, and pushing through fatigue. I make it a priority to work out consistently, 5-6 days a week, which preparing me for those conditions. Training not only makes me stronger physically but prepares me to overcome each obstacle I face and become stronger mentally as well. 

My training includes a 5:45 A.M. cycle class. Yes, really. Though getting out of bed in the dead of winter is the absolute LAST thing I want to do in the morning, I encourage myself by thinking about how rewarding it will feel once my workout is complete.

That’s when the phrase and hashtag, “ #Playsweatwin,” rings most true. I always need to play…then if I sweat I know I’m working-it, so if I play and sweat, well, it’s a WIN WIN all around!

Following my spin class - on occasion I take a 3.2-mile brisk walk/run outside. If not, I save my walk run’s for every other day I don’t spin. When it snow, you’ll find out outside. Snowshoeing on the weekends is a luxury — it’s one of my favorite activities in the winter!

With all this activity, I basically wring out my stress and build conductive energy. When I don’t move, shake, jump or groove, it’s like I’m missing something. So kicking-it is a part of my groove and what makes me a happy and well-adjusted individual, on most days:)

Being a cancer survivor (thriver), I am keenly aware of how food and products affect my body. I try to incorporate healthy eating into this routine as often as possible and make wellness choices when I shop for food and cleaning products for my own home. (My SHOP will reflect many of my favorite things in the next month so check back!) When I purchase, I go for as many non-toxic, organic and best quality goods and foods as possible. I truly feel this upfront investment keeps me literally out of the hospital.

I love to eat and have a voracious appetite. When I return from my walk or run, I make myself a healthy gluten-free, dairy-free breakfast. Avocado mash with dairy-free feta cheese on whole-grain gluten-free toast as one of my go-to breakfast combinations. Other days, I enjoy some Chobani yogurt with granola (by some miracle, Chobani doesn’t actually hurt my stomach!). 

I live by the motto “love the skin you’re in” and “go for the joy!” My main goal is to keep healthy and fit to enjoy all life has to offer -  be a supportive mom, friend, and mentor. I hope you all consider coming along on this journey with me. 

Tag #playsweatwin and together, let’s motivate one another and build energy to accomplish what we’re here to do. 

Love the Skin You’re In!

Health + Happiness + Habits = Living Well

 I confess I was not always happy with my relationship with my body. No big surprise since I’ve dedicated decades to the celebration of a woman’s body. (You teach what you need to learn). Thankfully, time does heal but I have discovered that by changing just a few basic habits, my whole outlook and self-image slowly transformed and will never go back.

The top habit I’m practicing makes a priority of eating loads of organic healthy veggies, meats, eggs and plenty of fresh filtered water, supplying my diet with more of that than highly processed and sugary foods. I have the cookie or two for God’s sake but leave the box for the next visit! That goes for ice cream. Have it and enjoy but avoid making it your main meal. Treat these fringe foods as guests that come to visit now and then. Before you know it, you will shame-less-ly indulge and not overdo it. Moderation always is the key, leaning hardest on the freshest food you can find, makes an incredibly happy bod. Add to this what your body needs as far as dietary supplements and you’re off to your best health, ever.

Sleep glorious Sleep takes either our #1 or #2 spot! Most of us are balancing multiple roles in our busy lifestyles, so it’s not always easy to make time for ourselves, more over get enough sleep.  Nevertheless, it is paramount that we do.  That means making time for a quickie (nap) when we need it and include activities we love.  Getting enough sleep each night is without a question, our best medicine!

Our third habit - physical activity.  No, I don’t always work out at the gym, but I do walk, swim, SNOWSHOE, or create an adventure — whatever it is , I make a conscious effort to engage in as many (outdoor) activities I possibly can.  I actually bring a bathing suit on business trips in case the hotel has a pool. A great place to stretch, do a little barre with the water up to your neck while holding on to the side then, fingers crossed for a well maintained hot tub! That’s something to celebrate. The key here is to plan ahead for your business/personal/ trips and do something you actively enjoy. Start dancing in a class or out on Friday night! Whatever you choose is going to be different for everybody.  My goal is not to achieve the perfect body, but to enjoy the activity I do and feel the joy and vitality taking place in my body. Big difference.

Habit #4:  Laughter!  For some people, it’s music or movies, but for me, it’s doing things with people who make me laugh.  I would encourage everyone to find those special activities and people who lift your spirits and free your soul and pepper them regularly throughout your life.

Last but certainly not least: meditation. Try it. Life-changing. ‘Nuf said. (Insight Timer app is free - Voted Happiest App in the world- and a good starter for beginners or for old hacks keeping it simple).

Loving the skin you’re in comes from nourishing yourself: mind, body, and soul! Now in my 50’s, I’m learning one of life’s biggest lessons to let go of other’s opinions and accept myself as I am, right here and now. Don’t waste your time to be otherwise, no one cares. They really don’t.

Be True. Be you.

Celebrate Our Bodies, Our Best Friends

Over the past several decades, the beauty ideal as portrayed in the media has increasingly become thinner, while the prevalence of obesity has increased.  At the same time, both the cosmetic surgery and dieting industries have become multi-billion dollar entities and the stigma against obesity has increased.  Research indicates that promoting dieting, fostering negative attitudes towards fat, and pervasive media images of unattainable and unrealistic beauty ideals (most images in the media are air-brushed) are perpetuating body dissatisfaction and eating disorders in men and women.   The current response to body dissatisfaction is to encourage dieting and body manipulation.  This tactic, however, has shown to fail at least 97% of the time.  While diets have shown to be ineffective, the person on the diet somehow ends up blaming themselves instead of the flawed system.  

NOW is the time to take back our bodies from a “consumer based culture” and embrace the glorious, unique and powerful vessels that contain our life essence while we experience the journey we are here live. To honor, to bless, to adorn and to bring into the fold of friendship, for everything our bodies do for us each and every day. From feeling a child’s hug, a kiss from a friend, tasting fine food from around the world, giving birth, smelling flowers, being able to travel and so much more. Without this glorious body we would not be having a human experience. Never thought about our bodies this way, right?

So flip the script and count the many ways we can appreciate and offer gratitude for what our bodies do for us automatically and make a commitment to experience more joy, happiness and contentment, here on forward!

I hope you enjoy the conversation!

For books and guides on eating disorders and body image related issues

Michael Cortese
Gürze/Salucore Eating Disorders Resource Catalogue
NEDA Junior Board Member / www.myneda.org
Mike@Edcatalogue.com
www.edcatalogue.com
908.419.3878
www.facebook.com/edcatalog
@edcatalog

Tune in this weekend

Slow down and catch a glimpse of the extra ordinary in ordinary life this weekend!

Naomi’s bouquet - morning light

Happy Friday all!

Be it through mediation (my favorite meditation app is Insight Timer, available at iTunes), taking a walk around a reservoir, jumping into the water at the shore or lake, or sitting and curling up to a good book, whatever it is, take time to slow life down to soak in the brilliance in this weekend ahead of us.

Be here now has become my mantra lately, just crept in when my plate began to fill up with unnecessary worry, or needing to control an outcome. Worry doesn’t make anything happen for me other than cause a sleepless night and feel off so I began looking into ways to focus more in the present moment where everything generally is good. Catching myself and practicing being right where I am at any given moment, I feel better and able to really listen to what people are sharing with me which has been an issue for me in the past. Classic case of overload and not being in the here and now.

I’m beginning to learn that in the here and now is where the magic happens. No where else but right here.

So in this refreshed state, with the kitchen still quiet, I took the shot. I caught the morning light hitting Naomi’s (my new sister in law’s) beautiful wedding bouquet the day after the wedding. What a wonderful time we all had!

Have a great one!

xo

Wednesday, April 24th, Join USA Today Storytellers Project + Holy Name Medical Center for a night of unexpected stories from Bergen County!

I am thrilled to share the tough conversation that changed my life forever on Wednesday, April 24th in Ridgefield Park, NJ @ 7pm ET

As a part of the Story Tellers Project, part of the USA Today Network and my community Wednesday, April 24th at 7pm, join us as we share honest, funny, sad, happy, interesting and thought provoking conversations that changed our lives forever..

Join Holy Name Medical Center in partnership with Storytellers Brand Studio for a night of true, first-person storytelling from everyday people in Bergen, about the tough conversations that change our lives forever.

Together we will explore the power of having the right talks with the right people. This event will bring out stories from people in the greater Bergen community with compelling insights into the ways honest, vulnerable conversations changed their families, workplaces and communities. These are the unexpected stories – some charming, some surprising, some funny – from the men and women who make this community so singular.

Location: AMC Ridgefield Park 12, Ridgefield Park, NJ

Auditorium #2

AMC Ridgefield Park 12

For Tickets: https://tickets.usatoday.com/e/holy-name-conversations

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

April 10, 2019

Sheriff Cureton, Emme to Share Personal Stories at Live Event

[NORTH JERSEY] — What do you get when you put a supermodel, doctor and sheriff in the room with two activists? You get "Conversations that Changed Everything: A night of storytelling presented by Holy Name Medical Center." The USA TODAY NETWORK, part of Gannett Co., Inc. (NYSE: GCI) and Storytellers Brand Studio, are pleased to announce a true, first-person storytelling event in partnership with Holy Name Medical Center.

Body-positive supermodel Emme will join Dr. Charles Vialotti, Bergen County Sheriff Anthony Cureton, Garden State Equality Executive Director Christian Fuscarino and political activist Kaity Assaf for the live storytelling event which takes place at:

• 7:00 - 8:30 p.m.

• April 24, 2019

• AMC Ridgefield Park 12, 75 Challenger Road, Ridgefield Park, N.J.

Featuring all-new stories never heard before on stage by storytellers from the North Jersey community, these are real people coached by USA TODAY NETWORK storytelling professionals.

Each teller will share a story about a tough conversation that changed their life. Emme will share a story from her early days in the modeling industry and how one negative experience could have put her on another path, but she had the fortitude to hold true to her dreams. Cureton had to go against his father's wishes to make the best call he knew for his family at the time.

Fuscarino will share a story of how he stood up and did what was right even though he was told not to by those in charge. Assaf will speak of an experience in high school where she fought for change and saw positive results. And Vialotti will share how what started as one conversation between two men are now thousands of conversations with hospice patients and their families offering comfort and peace.

General admission tickets are $10 and are available at https://tickets.usatoday.com. The event is produced by the Storytellers Brand Studio in partnership with Holy Name Medical Center.

More on the Storytellers Project:

The Storytellers Project is a nationwide series of live storytelling nights in which neighbors and notables share true, first-person stories. These events combine oral storytelling and journalism to reflect and serve communities, as well as to develop connection and empathy in them. Journalists from USA TODAY NETWORK newsrooms manage and host these nights in front of audiences of 75 to 400. The series has 100+ nights in 2018 alone, at venues ranging from the Ace Hotel and Swim Club in Palm Springs, to the Iowa State Fair in Des Moines and the Kentucky Derby Museum in Louisville. In less than 10 minutes each, everyday Americans share coached and curated stories that celebrate universal values while reflecting on themes chosen by the newsroom’s staff to be broadly appealing, including food and family, love and dating, and growing up. The Storytellers Project celebrates the idea that when we share our stories, we become emotionally and financially invested in one another and in our community.

About USA TODAY NETWORK

The USA TODAY NETWORK is the largest local to national media network in the country. Powered by integrated and award-winning news organizations with deep roots in 109 local communities, plus USA TODAY, the multiplatform news network informs and engages more than 110 million people every month through its diverse portfolio of digital, mobile, and publishing products.

Come Retreat in Miami With Me! Carillon Miami Resort and Spa May 3-5, 2019

CARILLON MIAMI  A WELLNESS RESORT     6801 COLLINS AVENUE, MIAMI BEACH, FL 33141

HOTEL 866-800-3858 | THE SPA 866-276-2226

ASHLEY STEWART® ME BY EMME® 2019 COLLECTION FEATURES DRESSES BY FASHION DESIGN STUDENTS

Mar 25, 2019

vpanews@syr.edu

Ashley Stewart®, the leading lifestyle and social commerce brand, has launched the ME BY EMME® 2019 capsule dress collection in partnership with iconic supermodel Emme ’85.

The yearlong partnership consists of 12 new trend-forward dress styles that are perfect for the modern-day woman. Created by Emme and KBL Group International, the capsule spotlights two winning dresses from Fashion Without Limits (FWL) EMME Award™ winners at Syracuse University: Courtney Capazzi ’18 (2017 winner) and Kerry Phelan ’19 (2018 winner).

EMME '85 IN THE DRESS BY KERRY PHELAN '19

The College of Visual and Performing Arts’ School of Design and Emme co-founded FWL in an effort to teach young fashion designers over the course of their four-year college education about inclusive fashion design as a foundational solution for approximately 100 million women above a size 12 in the U.S. who cannot find trend-forward, well-fitting and fashionable clothing options.

“Going into our sixth year, we’ve helped shift the way young fashion designers conceptually think about the women and men they design for, by opening their aperture to size,” says Emme. “I am delighted that Ashley Stewart (now for a second year) wanted to include the FWL winning dress(es) along with my ME by EMME® dress collection. It’s a wonderful opportunity to applaud inclusive fashion within design schools that celebrate every woman’s body.”

Phelan, a senior majoring in fashion design with a minor in retail management, designed the 2018 lace peplum-winning dress in celebration of the female body and her powerful curves.

“I’m driven to find ways to use fashion as a vehicle to express my voice,” says Phelan. “This [FWL] program has given me the chance to put more meaning into my work and strive to make a change.”

Additionally, 2017 FWL EMME Award™ winner Courtney Capazzi’s sell-out, salmon-colored dress earned her another season online at Ashley Stewart in two color ways along with the ME by EMME® collection. ME by EMME® dresses are available for purchase online at AshleyStewart.com and range in price from $59.50 – $69.50.

For more information about Emme and FWL, visit and follow @Supermodelemme on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and at www.emmestyle.com/fashionwithoutlimits. For more fabulous ME by EMME® upcoming dress designs, visit Ashley Stewart. Follow @ByAshleyStewart and @ByAshleyTV on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

ABOUT ASHLEY STEWART

Ashley Stewart is a global fashion and lifestyle brand that has propelled itself to be on the vanguard of social commerce and purpose-driven business. Since its founding in 1991 in Brooklyn, New York, Ashley Stewart has always stood for uncompromising style, fashion confidence and empowerment for the woman who flaunts her curves. Today, Ashley Stewart offers the hottest looks with 88 stores across the United States, a leading and global e-commerce presence at AshleyStewart.com, a powerful social media presence @byashleystewart and a growing multimedia and events arm at AshleyTV. Every year, through the Finding Ashley Stewart Tour, Ashley Stewart traverses the country looking to recognize women who embody the ideals of the Ashley Stewart women: kindness, resilience, confidence and community leadership. Through #ASGives, Ashley Stewart engages in programs such as the #AshleyCollegeTour to make long-term investments into the communities that have supported the brand for close to 30 years.

ABOUT FASHION WITHOUT LIMITS (FWL)

FWL is a global initiative where young designers in fashion design schools are taught an inclusive fashion education (pattern making, draping, illustration, design and grading) for women size 0-24 and above.

FWL’s mission is to strengthen the impact of fashion design in women's lives and the global economy. 

Categories: School of Design, Fashion Design, Your First Year, Alumni

Emme on The RachAel Ray Show!

Wearing my denim ME by EMME dress for Ashley Stewart, click link…also (Insta @byAshleyStewart) dress collection is going on sale online February 2019!

It’s a BODY CON dress (you pour yourself in) So if you’re a true 10/12, buy the 12. If you’re a 14, buy the 14/16. If you’re a true 16/18 buy the 18/20, you get what I mean. If you shorten, please make sure the sweep (the bottom of the dress) is nice and close to your leg but wide enough to walk, meant to hit, 1.5 inches below bottom of knee. Classic sexy.

Necklace (my gold one might be sold out by now) but other substantial pieces like the one I am wearing can be found at Baronnes (on instagram @baronnessjewel) If you find yourself in NYC, Barones’ Store: 832 Lexington Avenue, NYC 10065 (price point: high). I will look into sourcing accessories in the more moderate price point but from time to time, I will wear luxury and better to bridge price points as well!

Emme Backstage of The Rachael Ray Show

Rachael!!!

Thank you Ashley Stewart and Congradulations Courtney!!!

Oh, what 2017-2018 has been!

It was an utter joy to see through a student's eyes the joy of having her design become a reality, like I did with Syracuse junior Courtney Capazzi in 2017.  Quite an eye opening experience for us all as there were hundreds of decisions to make,  scheduling and rescheduling at nauseam, the ups and downs and finally the joy of birthing a dress into production---all around Chinese New Year. If I hadn't had a few clothing lines of my own over the last two decades, I would have had a heart attack with Courtney, but no, all rolled along and we got to the end with smiles and astonishment.  Needless to say, not too many young designers can say they had a design go into production and go on sale one day before graduation with a major retailer! But you did just that Courtney, Congradulations!!

It certainly does takes a village to shape shift a creative thought/idea/concept into a reality and if I may, I'd like to take a moment to offer my appreciation for this incredible experience:

Thank you Ashley Stewart CEO James Rhee and dress buyer Aretha Blake #Ashleybabe for believing in Fashion Without Limits and in Courtney's winning design - you made this happen, hats off to manufacturer KBL Group Intl' + Tina and Hannah --the best design team duo-- you brought Courtney's design come to life, and a major bow goes to Syracuse University School of Design Dean Tick and Director James Fathers with Professors Jeffrey Mayer and Todd Conover at the helm, and Adriana Gorea among other faculty, your all- in leadership for an inclusive fashion education at Syracuse University Design School at the College of Visual and Performing Arts, inspires me every day to do more! 

Photo: @byashleystewart @iveystyles available now online: www.ashleystewart.com

In Courtney's own words: "I am sincerely grateful to have to opportunity to work with Emme on her mission to expand the plus size market and create fashionable clothing for all women. Fashion Without Limits has given me, and the students at Syracuse University the opportunity to create greater meaning in our designs. It has allowed me to expand my horizons, push boundaries and negate the limitations of size. I hope that other universities will follow suit and give their students the opportunity to expand their knowledge and push passed standard sizing. I look forward to the day that stores are no longer segregated by size, and I am hopeful by educating students Fashion Without Limits has the power to push the fashion industry one step closer to that ideal.” 

@Courtney Capazzi -in The Warehouse- Syracuse, NY

Courtney just graduated, is from the Class of 2018, Syracuse University, B.S. Fashion Design, Entrepreneurship & Emerging Enterprises,
College of Visual and Performing Arts | Martin J. Whitman School of Management  

Ok, so Im going to brag a little ... She was the President of Fashion Association of Design Students, Artistic Merit Scholarship
Awarded for outstanding portfolio and design work, and winner of 2017 Fashion Without Limits Design Competition for outstanding plus size design for the Fashion Without Limits program. 

Need a great size inclusive junior designer, Courtney is your next hire!  More of Courtney's work and portfolio can be found here.

LANE BRYANT SPRING CAMPAIGN!

JUST PINCH ME, FIRST NYFW THEN SHOOTING AGAIN, LIFE IS GOOD!

PHOTO: @ANNEMENKE2 | HAIR: @JEROMEHAIR | MAKEUP: @REBECCAALEXANDERMAKEUP

I AM BEYOND GRATEFUL TO BE BACK INTO THE FASHION BUSINESS, MODELING AGAIN!  SO MUCH FUN!  ESPECIALLY WORKING WITH @PHILOMENAKWAO AND @BREEKISH!