A COOKIE IS JUST A COOKIE

AskEMME: A COOKIE IS JUST A COOKIE

Q: I have a friend who tells me what I can’t have every time we go out to eat. The last time, I wanted a cookie and she said, “What? Have you kissed size 12 good-bye to say hello to size 18 forever?” She had asked me to stop complaining about my weight, and I did… but now she does nothing but! How do I get her off my back?

A: Stop the insanity and tell her to get with it; that diets stink and eating well, is in. When you deny yourself food that you don’t eat regularly, like cookies, you crave it, and eventually overdo it the next time you bump into that goodie.

Take a page from my book. I was quoted by The The New York TimesTimes staff writer ‪#‎AlexWitchel‬ , which made the distinguished quote of the day, ”A cookie is just a cookie, get over it! ”

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Brushed up for today, originally posted in MODE Magazine
© 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc.

DESPERATE FOR MARRIAGE

AskEMME: DESPERATE FOR MARRIAGE

Q: One of my best friends desperately wants to get married. She’s getting set up on blind dates, signing up on online dating sites, calling up old boyfriends and she even cut off all her hair thinking she needed a new look. Unfortunately, her efforts aren’t paying off and she’s really depressed and difficult to be around. I’ve tried to give her advice and have told her that finding a partner would be a nice plus, but her expectations of marriage after a few dates is unrealistic. Now she’s upset with me, what’s a friend to do?

A: This is a classic case of the more you try to make something happen, it won’t. You can never force love, marriage, or friendship. It has to evolve in its own time. She’s upset because she knows you’re right. I applaud you for being so diplomatic because what she’s doing is a major turnoff for any guy who comes near her. Telling her to get a life is a bit harsh, but it’s the truth. I suggest helping her understand why she is placing such urgency on being married. There seems to be something deeper going on there and I bet it’s a fear of not finding someone steeped with low self-esteem.

Only when she’s able to deeply connect and respect her truest self and true beauty that the chance of a good man will come along. Healthier to let go to faith that all is exactly the way is should be while she allows time to get her “house” in order. From there all good things flow!

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Brushed up for today, originally posted in MODE Magazine
© 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc.

DRESS CODE

AskEMME: DRESS CODE

Q: I was at lunch with a colleague recently when she said she had been asked by my supervisor to speak to me about the length of my skirts. Apart from the fact that I would have preferred that my boss talked to me directly, my skirts are actually no shorter than anyone else’s. I think I’m being targeted because I’m full-figured, and I’m very annoyed. How do I handle this situation?

A: Skirt lengths at the workplace should be no higher than two-and-a-half inches above the knee, no matter how divine your legs happen to be. (I can hear a collective groan) Call me old fashioned, but this is where I come from. If you and your colleagues are nowhere near the ballpark, then you should all make adjustments, not just you. (but don’t count on it). Then calmly go to your boss and tell him/her that you’re disappointed that he/she didn’t approach you personally.

I know that you’re feeling singled out, but now is a good time for you to step up and turn the negative into a positive. Raise the standards of your company’s dress code by lowering your hemlines and direct more attention toward your smarts and hard work.

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

GODMOTHER

AskEMME: GODMOTHER

Q: A family friend asked me to be her son’s godmother. I refused because I didn’t feel that I was at a place in my life where I could be responsible for anyone other than myself. My friend has said that she understands, but I feel that it’s put a strain on our relationship. I am starting to regret my decision.

How do I make it up to both of them?

A: You can start by writing a letter to your friend’s son. Introduce yourself and welcome him into the world. This gesture will mean a lot to your friend, and hopefully bridge the gap that has developed between the two of you. Send a nice gift. Check-in with Mom to see if she needs anything and bring by a meal after she gets home from the hospital which would be greatly appreciated by all. You were right to be up-front about your current situation, but now is the time to show your true colors (the reasons why you were asked to be his godmother in the first place).

With the time you have to offer, give your friend’s son what you can without compromising your personal situation. Just keep on being a good friend, with her life being turned upside down, she needs you now more than he does!

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

GOTTA HAVE GIRLFRIENDS

AskEMME: GOTTA HAVE GIRLFRIENDS

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years, and without really noticing it, I gradually stopped hanging out with my girlfriends. At first they would nag me about it, but then they simply stopped calling. Now my beau wants to throw a birthday party for me and I feel strange approaching my friends. It’s been a year since I’ve seen them, and I’m afraid they’ll tell me to get lost.

A: Hey, this is not all bad. Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy and you feeling guilty about abandoning your friends is a wake-up call. 

Girlfriends are vitally important to have in all stages of life. The key here is to balance your relationships. Just as you need time alone to take care of yourself and time with your boyfriend, you need girlfriends to relate to and share with. Your friends will forgive you. They might be a little hurt so let them have their say, then show them how much they mean to you by not only including them in the ups and downs in your life but show them that they can rely on you in theirs as well.

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

Gum Snapper

AskEMME: Gum Snapper

Q: My coworker is always chewing gum and it makes me crazy. Not only does she chew loudly, she’s also a snapper. How do I handle this? She is driving me insane.

A: I have to confess I am a snapper, but I know all too well how irritating it can be to witness or be captive to a nonstop, insensitive gum chewer. What are you waiting for? Tell her to get a grip on her urge to snap. When I’m told I chew loudly, I turn red and throw the gum out immediately and think again to chew with anyone else around. If I can handle the feedback, so can she.

What to do if she cops an attitude? Tell her to grow up.

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

JUST FRIENDS

AskEMME: JUST FRIENDS

Q: For the past couple of months I have been attracted to a man who’s a customer at the bank where I work. I finally got up the nerve to ask him out to dinner, and he accepted- however, he also told me he has a girlfriend. He is involved in a long distance relationship, so he suggested just being friends. Well, the dinner was wonderful, and I understand his commitment to his girlfriend, but my instincts tell me to go for what I want - which is him.

A: You’ve been warned, so unless you get signals from him that he wants to be more than friends (and leave his long-distance lover), back off. If you were to pursue this, I see a long and winding road to disappointment. His heart is with her. Keep on being your attractive and intelligent self; you deserve someone available and just right for you!

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

I DO OR I DON’T

AskEMME: I DO OR I DON’T

Q: I have been dating a married guy for a couple of years and he
just finalized his divorce. (I had nothing to do with the divorce- he had separated before we met.) Now that he is legally unattached my emotions keep fluctuating. Why is this happening?

A: Sometimes what we can’t have is what we want most. The dynamics of your relationship have shifted and the reality of it may not be what you expected. Take a good look at why you were attracted to him in the first place. Don’t rush any decisions you may be making at this time.

Your feelings are valid and it’s important to note (feel) and address what's most important.

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

HYPOCRITICAL PARENTS

AskEMME: HYPOCRITICAL PARENTS

Q: I am a 27-year-old woman. My Mom is Puerto Rican and my Dad is Irish. For the past few months I’ve been dating a black man and, believe it or not, my parents would flip if they knew. Since I’m still living at home, I’m feeling really guilty about the whole thing. To top it off, I’m starting to get very close to this guy, but I don’t know how to explain my parents’ racism to him. Should I break up with him now before I get in any deeper?

A: Whoa! Have your parents looked in the mirror lately? It’s really hard for me to think that you’d give up this guy for the sake of saving face with your hypocritical parents. Racism is not the only problem here- you’re old enough to stand up for your personal choices. This is a great opportunity to grow. I think it’s time you had a long chat with Mom and Dad about your beau. Tell them that you don’t understand their racial views, especially since their own marriage is a mingling of cultures.

Hear what they have to say and let them know how you feel. Then ask them if your boyfriend can come over for dinner. Hopefully, your parents’ main concern is your happiness, and if they see that this man is good for you, they should be supportive. It’s time to let the cat out of the bag.

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

LET GO AND EMBRACE YOUR FASHIONABLY FAB SELF!

LET GO AND EMBRACE YOUR FASHIONABLY FAB SELF!

by Emme

Courtesy of HeyGorgeous.com 

Beth Ditto 

Courtsey of HeyGorgeous.com

Beth Ditto

Courtsey of HeyGorgeous.com

Robin Lawley Swim

 

Courtesy of HeyGorgeous.com

Slink Jeans

June 16, 2016

With summer here (officially in a few days) what do you want to say via your summer fashion statement?  Will you allow some skin to show, not cover up in layers, wear something more body conscious (BodyCon), wear white jeans to your next bbq, buy a bathing suit you'll actually wear INTO THE WATER, ask a friend to an afternoon stroll at a museum in your most contemporary colorful linen dress or will you remain unable to move beyond your tried and true day to day uniform of the same?  

I've got news for you, it's time to clean out your closets and remove all that does not SERVE YOU, belittling your light, your glory, and life's mission. I'd rather your wardrobe be filled with minimalist goodies then loaded with the newest fad! By keeping it simple saves us time and headache the next time we're asked last minute to meet friends or a date with someone special.

What we wear not only clothes us well for the elements, but shows the world our values, beliefs, and goals in life.  Do not be mistaken; our clothes needn't be from a luxury price point (although it's ok to dream and be inspired from this elevated fashion level) but the goal is to reflect who we are and what we feel about ourselves through our prized pieces.  So whatever you keep, make them count to serve you well and allow you to be seen in the best light possible. 

Im asking you to step out of your box and try on something that excites you - new fabric, fit, and style- and see what your inner goddess has to say.  I've said "Slow change is lasting change, just as long as we change"  So let go of the fear of the unknown and have some faith that in trying, you may be able to expand your wardrobe repertoire to include the glorious new collections from designers on the scene (more about them here @ EMMESTYLE360) and the glorious technologically superior textiles just waiting for your touch and the caress of your body to bring them to life!

To get inspired, check out HeyGorgeous.com in the better to bridge contemporary market  today!

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