Emmestyle

As the world's first full-figured supermodel, Emme burst onto the scene and quickly became a household name. Since her inception in modeling, she has gone on to host E!’s Fashion Emergency, author numerous best-selling books, and design several lines of clothing including the me by EMME line for QVC, all while being ever-vigilant as an advocate for numerous women’s causes. Among her many accolades, Emme has been selected twice for People magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful People,” was named among Ladies’ Home Journal “Most Important Women in America,” and received “Woman of the Year” honors from Glamour magazine.

HLNYC: You were born here in New York City, but you spent a lot of your childhood in Saudi Arabia. Did your experiences as a young girl in the Saudi culture help you to become the outspoken, confident woman that you are, or was it an obstacle that you had to overcome?

I think that my experiences as a young person in a very closed society for women compelled me to use my voice, because I saw as an American what rights we had. Being born in the sixties, I watched Title 9 come about and saw what women were going through—how they were burning bras and getting up for their rights—it was a very proactive time. And to have it offset by living in a very closed society, seeing women being shrouded, walking ten paces being their husband, and men having multiple wives. I think it definitely influenced me not to take what I had as an American for granted.

HLNYC: Is that something that you realized while you were living in Saudi Arabia, or did you not really understand until you moved back to the States?

I think because I was so young with the movement happening, and being in Saudi Arabia, my mother knew better what was going on. There were a couple of instances where my mother would be asked by a local Arab woman, “Please help educate me, but you can’t tell anyone that you’re doing this.” We could have been thrown out of Saudi Arabia by offering education to a local woman, but they knew that my mom was kind and that she came from an educated background. She was faced with these sobbing women that were just pleading for some kind of knowledge, because they knew that the American women and the international women that were living in Saudi Arabia, in Dhahran, were educated. It just seemed unfair that they weren’t able to do that.

But I was aware that there was protesting going on in America. I left for Saudi Arabia in ’72, so I was old enough to remember the things that were on TV. I saw the newspapers and magazines. I knew there was a fight going on.

HLNYC: Even coming from that closed female culture, you still went on to be a trailblazer in the modeling industry, which is notorious for putting the individual under a microscope. At what point did you really become comfortable enough in your own skin to pursue modeling?

You know it’s a work in progress. I’m always working to try and become more and more comfortable in my skin. I’m so much more now than when I was younger. Learning through other people’s journeys that having poor body image was not just my own—that helped me heal. Reading books, learning about what body image, self-esteem, and eating disorders are—knowing that there was a name for it—because everyone at the time was keeping it very quiet and closeted. You’d hear people say that they hadn’t had meals to eat, or they were eating in secret or throwing up, and you’d be like, what’s going on? Really I had no idea. Once I knew that there was something—a word for it—eating disorder, body dysmorphia. Once I started filling myself with the knowledge, a part of me would start to heal, and then another.

I started saying to myself, “Well, I’m learning all this information, and I’m looking around, thinking that every single woman that I know has an issue with their bodies, or thinking that they’re not good enough, or they’re not right enough for society, or to get this job or that job.” I just thought that it was ridiculous. We have so many rights here, so why can’t we go for our dreams? Why can’t we crash through the barriers?

It’s all about learning what other people are going through, asking for help, and helping those underneath you, so you can keep climbing together. So, the more I learned, the more I wanted to share—it was a full-circle effect. The more that you get outside of yourself to help others, the more you heal. So, it’s a process—an ongoing process.

HLNYC: You’ve shared quite a bit of that experience as the author of a number of inspirational books for women, for couples, and now you have a book coming out for children. What inspired you for those books, and what are you hoping to inspire in other people?

I was inspired to write True Beauty through my own struggle to find my self-esteem as a model. Here I was a model, and I had low self-esteem. The more I realized that I wasn’t alone—that so many women shared this struggle between fitting in and not fitting in, feeling good and not feeling good, not finding anything good about ourselves and always judging ourselves on our bodies—I thought, I should really write this journey down. I just spoke about, for the first time really, my quandary about myself as a women and my society. In this quote-unquote free society, why do we still feel trapped? We as women are still imprisoned within our own selves, it’s just not right.

So, I tried to spread some encouragement. If I can try and figure this out and try to find this mind-body-spirit connection, not just living through my body, then we all can.

Life’s Little Emergencies, that’s just a girl’s gabfest—a fun book about what women talk about. We talk about life; we talk about death; we talk about beauty products. We talk about the outrageousness of how we see our bodies in our society. We talk about entertaining. From soup to nuts, it’s a girl gabfest, and it’s lots of fun.

And Morning Has Broken was revealing a struggle with depression and a suicide attempt of my husband’s, and through all the muck and the mire, how to really hold on to your sanity so that you can be there for your family. Even though you come really close to losing it, and not understanding what the heck is going on, just have faith. And really it’s my husband’s baby that he wanted to do and write. It’s the last thing that I wanted to do at the time, because I was still so raw and so broken up over the whole thing. But that’s really the best time to get into the writing and get it down on paper, because I would have blocked a lot of things out. So, that’s a book of hope for all the couples to hang in there, knock it out, try to keep each other sane, and try not give up.

Then, What Are You Hungry For? from Harper Collins, is truly about the emotional and physical aspects of food. I think that we always talk about hunger through the physical needs of hunger, but we’re so hungry as a nation for the tactile touch, for a hug, for a compliment, for a job well done. Kids are being faced with advertising, and the push for consumerism, and immediate gratification, and both parents working, and everyone being so busy. I think there’s an emotional hunger that needs to be addressed for children. So that’s what we’re going after. It’s a book for 3 to 5-year-old kids that parents will pick up, and together they can talk about the emotional and physical aspects of hunger.

HLNYC: You are a young mother yourself, with a 6-year-old daughter. How do you find time to be a wife, a mother, and still have this bustling career?

It’s a balancing act, and I have a really good partner. I use my voice with Phil, and Phil uses his voice with me to express what we both need, and that’s really where it’s at.

I also involve Toby with taking on more responsibility within the family. When I wash the floors, Toby washes the floors. I mean it. When I fold the laundry, Toby folds the laundry. When I set the table, Toby helps set the table. When I’m cooking dinner, Toby’s in charge of the stirring and the adding of the salt, and the adding of whatever—she’s very creative in the kitchen.

It’s also mentoring her to do her artwork with a passion and an excitement, to write her books—because she knows that we write books—every week, she’s writing a book. We go through a lot of tape and staples.

HLNYC: Does Toby want a job at Healthy Living?

Hey, you know, if you asked her, I’m sure she’d be so stoked.

HLNYC: Do you have any tips for young mothers on how to achieve that sort of balance?

The thing that I try to balance more and more is me. If I am not emotionally full, if I feel empty, if I’m running myself down, I can’t be there for my home, my family, or my professional career. So, I try to take a nap. That’s one thing that really helps me recharge.

I try to eat really well. I’m learning more than anything that if I put good food in, I get good output, period. That helps me maintain my metabolism; it helps me maintain my shape. And I don’t diet—that is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the true essence of what is in the food. If I’m eating quick and fast food, I’m going to feel slow and sluggish, and I know that already. A lot of the things that are passing the FDA are really detrimental to your health. When you eat really good, nutrient-dense food, you don’t need so much of it. Really your body says, “Okay, good, I’m satisfied.” So, learning that, I try to eat foods that I really love, and cook foods that are good. That helps me within that whole balance—sleeping well and eating well.

Then, what’s really important is connecting with my girlfriends. I have to do that. When I go through periods when I’m really busy and I don’t see them, I feel lonely and isolated. So, I try to get connected, and that helps me to feel better. Just to listen to their stories, and think, “It’s not all me. I’m not that crazy.” Or at least, we’re all crazy at the same thing. Feeling like you have that kinship really helps.

Going on situational and environmental changes are nice—going to LBI, and breathing the salt air. Going to the mountains. And to play—we need to play. We played all weekend long sledding up and down our hill. I am so sore.

HLNYC: Yeah, running uphill in the snow really knocks you out.

We had a very cold night two nights ago, so the slide was very quick. Phil shoveled this whole luge for us, and that’s the best. We didn’t have to go anywhere to get away. We just invited some friends over, and Toby’s friends came over, and we all had hot chocolate. And there’s no TV. We get out, and we get going in nature.

The other thing about balance is exercise. I’m going through a low-key time right now, and I can feel it. When I exercise, I build my energy. I can always pull from that energy. It’s simple: work out, build energy—don’t work out, running on low. So, I’m looking forward to getting back into doing a spin or yoga 2 or 3 times a week.

Last but not least, just try not to do it all. That too is part of the art form of keeping it balanced.

HLNYC: You mentioned trying to stay close to your friends. I understand that you’ve just launched a new website, EmmeStyle.com targeted at building a community for women. What do you hope to achieve in uniting this community?

I hope to bring what’s going on in the 20-year-olds’ lives into the 30, 40, and 50-year-olds’ lives, where there’s a lot of connection, sharing of ideas, sharing of view points, and debating, agreeing, and disagreeing. People being able to put their ideas out there, and people will be able to comment on that, and share their views. I think in our age group, there’s not a lot of that, and I thought there should be more communities out there.

I’d love to help people get over the negative stereotypes of blogging and video blogging. I did my first video blog this morning, and I’m really excited to say that I’m going to be doing a daily video blog.

It really makes me happy to know that I’m keeping up with what’s happening, and not getting left behind, because technology is only going forward. If you want to catch up, there are some great Podcasts out there like TWIT—This Week In Technology, which is really wonderful. It tells you what’s what from some of the highest tech geeks alive. But they’re not talking tech. They’re talking real—real time, real issues. It’s not like listening to a lecture. Even if you don’t know what they’re talking about, you can just Google it and read up more. And that’s one of the things that got me so excited about doing a women’s community. Hearing this and thinking, “Whoa, here it is—this is where we’re going.”

I’d like EmmeStyle.com to be able to gather people together in Northern New Jersey, or in Pennsylvania, or in Northern California. So, if there’s a Walk for Life, or another event, whatever it might be, these groups from the Emmestyle team can go and be a part of it. So they can get together and have a tactile connection with the other members they’ve met online. My real intent is to gather people together with like-minded hearts and minds to support one another and become friends. The Internet, I want to use not to keep people apart and away from the tactile, but to get the ideas flowing and moving and grooving, and then let the community get together outside and feel like that’s an okay thing to say, “Okay, I would like to meet all of you.”

HLNYC: There’s been quite a stir in the fashion community in the past few months. First, several fashion shows started putting minimum weight limits on ultra-thin models, and then Jean Paul Gaultier walked a plus sized model down the runway at Paris Fashion Week. Do you think this is the beginning of a trend in fashion and media?

I think there are strides being taken. The CFDA, the Council of Fashion Designers of America, is taking a stand to educate people and designers and agents on eating disorders. However, I believe that one extra step needs to be taken. There needs to be a doctor’s okay that an individual is healthy enough to model. There needs to be a check up. It’s just so rampant within the modeling industry.

It’s really an interesting conflict. The fashion industry wants to produce clothes for women—all kinds of women—to look gorgeous and go out and feel good in what they create for them. But the women who are promoting the clothes—the models—are dying off the runway because they are being asked to be so thin. Once you get to a certain thinness, your mind takes over. It is a mental issue, a mental disorder. When you’re not eating enough nutrients, you’re going to start thinking crazy.

So, I think that we need to help the industry in general through the medical community. Not for the government to start regulating and saying that they’re going to have scales next to the runways—that’s not the right approach. In a free society, we can self-regulate. But we need to start standing up as mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles—men and women in society around the tables that make these decisions at advertising and media companies. Anything that has to do with female beauty and imagery has to have diversity not only in ethnicity but in body size differentiation.

You can’t play with Mother Nature. If you are a small body type, you could never be large. Even if you try to gain weight, you will always be small. If you’re medium sized, that’s what you’re given. If you’re large sized, you can’t ever be small. You can be more trim in a full-figured body.

The goal is to produce clothes that get people feeling good about leaving their house and doing the job that’s before them—being mothers, being parents, being a friend, going to school, getting a job, being a corporate CEO—whatever it might be. Clothe them and let them be well. Then the people that promote those products through beauty imagery have to do it correctly, so we don’t have a whole society of disordered women in their body dysmorphia and eating disorder problems.

One of the statistics that’s really riveting, because it flows from the house, is that 80% of American women are dissatisfied with the way they look. So, our women don’t feel good enough the way they are. What does that do in the family? Does that stay with the woman? No. She is passing along her feelings of inadequacy because of a society based on consumerism.

How can you help anyone or anything when you’re not feeling good about yourself in the first place? You can’t help your kids, you can’t help your community. So we’re actually hurting the future in a number of ways by perpetuating this body-obsessed society.

HLNYC: We’ve seen body obsession play out recently in the media frenzy over photos of Tyra Banks in her bathing suit. And the public bought into it, so how do we break that cycle?

First of all, Tyra was very courageous throughout her ordeal. It takes people with exposure to make these courageous journeys in the public eye in order to help change happen. As well as it takes each individual to be courageous to affect the big picture. It’s kind of equal.

As individuals, we need to start putting on our filters—whether it’s a media filter, a bully filter, an imagery filter, or a message filter—each one of those can be made by us opening a book. By us saying, “I want to stop feeling so badly,” and really meaning that. It’s by stopping and asking an important question—what can I do about this? Sometimes it’s as simple as not buying a magazine. Sometimes it’s being courageous enough to take a stand. Because if you’re feeding into it, there’s no one else to blame but yourself.

HLNYC: You’re deeply involved in a lot of philanthropy work, and I understand that you’re starting your own foundation. What goals are you setting forth for your foundation?

It’s called Empower Our World, and it’s really based on building self-esteem and body image for women and children across the world. Teaching them the principals of truth by peeling back the onion of false stereotypes prevalent in the media, and then empowering them enough that they will, in turn, mentor other people. So, it’s really exposure to what exists—not trying to change or force people to think differently, but to expose them to different concepts and ideas—to ignite them to be empowered and to think differently about themselves, and one step beyond. Beautiful things can really happen when you become connected to body image and self-esteem. It all stems from there. Without self-esteem you can’t do anything. You live in your temple, your structure, and if you’re not happy with it, it’s very hard to get outside of that.

HLNYC: What inspired you to start Empower Our World?

My tremendous experiences with other organizations had a lot to do with it. You know, I heal every time, as a human within the human experience, that I am able to give time. Sometimes giving time is so much more important than just giving money. Of course, the financial is very important too, but if you can give someone time, or make a phone call for someone else, be an advocate, stuff envelopes, feed people that need help being fed—just giving of yourself.

There are a bunch of groups that are doing great work and are working really hard. So it’s tremendous to be able to call them friends and to really work hard for them. There’s V-Day, Eve Ensler’s organization dedicated to stopping abuse of women across the world.

HLNYC: Eve Enlser was the playwright and director of The Vagina Monologues, correct?

She’s an incredible playwright and the founder of V-Day. She’s written the Good Body, and she just came out with her latest book, Insecure at Last: Losing It in Our Security-Obsessed World.

Eve has dedicated her life to exposing atrocities against women and children. Just recently I went to the UN to support her as she talked about how the UN peacekeeping initiatives really need to stand against rape during war times. Historically, it’s been this rite of passage in war to say, “Well we’ve just conquered this area, we’re going to rape all the women and children.” That’s got to end, and the UN peacekeepers have got to end it. She made a comment that we need to get more women in levels in government that are in positions of power, so that we can make progress on these issues. Of course, there are men that are involved in the cause, but they’re not going to truly understand what it is to be raped, because they haven’t experienced it. It’s just normal human understanding and compassion. With more women in these positions of power, we can actually get done what the UN has said they’ve wanted to.

There’s so many wonderful foundations. The Montell Williams MS Foundation, where he really works hard at getting 100% of the proceeds into research. It’s important to find good organizations that do donate a high percentage. Where there’s very low administrative costs.

And the National Eating Disorders Association—they’re a very important clearinghouse of information and advocacy work with the Eating Disorders Coalition. They are constantly working and tirelessly writing letters of encouragement to those people who are really empowering women. They also act as a watchdog for productions in the media that are not handled with kindness and understanding, like HBO’s Thin. They’re on top of it. They really do use their power to get things to be more balanced.

HLNYC: Is there anything else that you’d like to share with our readers?

The most important thing is to use your voice. Get out and vote. I can’t stress that enough. Your voice is so important, and if you don’t use it, you can lose it.

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Emme’s books: True Beauty, Life’s Little Emergencies, Morning has Broken, and What Are You Hungry For? are available in book stores everywhere, or online at: amazon.com

The Me by Emme clothing line is available for purchase at: QVC.com

For more information on all things Emme, or to become part of her quickly growing online community, check out her website: EmmeStyle.com