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You asked. She answered. Our wonderful Emme-supermodel,
superperson, helps you size things up and copeall the way around.
Q: I'm 23 years old, 5' II", and 315 Ibs. I
can carry the weight, but I really believe
that I need to drop 100 Ibs. for health
reasons. I'm getting married next
November, and in the five years that my
fiance and I have been together, not only
has our love grown, but so have our
waistlines. We are very supportive of
each other because we both come from
large-size families, but we are struggling
with this issue. I need your help!
A: First, congratulations on your wedding.
November is just eight months
away. You nor only want to look your
best, but you want to feel your best too!
When weight becomes a health issue, you
must take action! Start exercising wirh
your fiance. Make it fun! Let your imagination
soar ... bur for starters, work on this
together. Go for short walks frequently
throughout the week. Begin slowly, then
increase your pace. Think veggies, lean
meats, fruits. Eat when you're hungry,
refrain when you're not. I suggest you see
a nutritionist to further educate yourself
in proper and effective eating habits.
Believe in yourself and know that a little
hard work will payoff in the long run.
Admitting that change is in the air is half
the battle. You'll be healthier for it!
Q: I am a 40-year-old male. I've been
married for 18 years. After my wife gave
birth to our two children, she gained
weight and hasn't been able to get to the
size she wants to be. The problem is that
I think she is an extremely sexy lady. But
she doesn't. I buy her lingerie and heels
and dresses, but she's stopped feeling
good about herself. I tell her I look at the
whole person and that that's what I'm in
love with. I want her to dress up and
invite me out on a romantic date. But
she's too blue. What to do?
A: If your lady love is feeling the blues, it
might be because she needs an interest
boost. Does she get out on her own and
have hobbies or activities she does outside
the home? Boredom, depression, and
lethargy can affect one's self-esteem and
body image, no matter how high a
pedestal you put her on. You can help by
suggesting that she do something about
how badly she feels and letting her know
that you will be there every step of the
way. How about sending her roses. Maybe
a vacation-it doesn't have to be extravagant,
just a little getaway. I think it's
wonderful that you buy your wife clothes
and accessories. Don't stop! But there is
more to this story than material pleasures.
Keep telling her how much you love her;
you can never say it roo much. Ultimately,
though, it is her responsibility. Hang in
there, with a husband like you around,
she'll soon come to realize that there is
more to herself than a dress size.
Q: I am in love with a thin man; he is
athletic and gorgeous. I work with him,
sometimes 18 hours a day, and he and I
have really bonded. I feel in my soul that
he really likes me, and that he appreciates
my animation and intelligence. The
problem? I am a size 22, and, to my
knowledge, he has never dated anyone of
significant size. He cares about me and
my unhealthy eating habits. Lately,
though, I've been getting the feeling that
he's frustrated that I haven't lost weight.
In every other way, I'm completely his
type. How do I bridge this gap?
A: What do you mean by "to my knowledge,
he's never dated anyone of significant
size"? Lets get real- really real! Love
has or should have nothing to do with
size. In fact, it's the size of one's heart that
matters. Maybe it's time to tell him how
much you care for him. Take a chance. He
may be in love with you, but because you
are so concerned with what you think he's
thinking, you can't see it. If you need to
lose weight and your eating habits are
tragic, there is no time like the present to
make healthy changes. Start with your
eating patterns and lack of exercise.
Moreover, start by loving yourself right
now, even before a pound comes off,
because I'm sure there is a lot to love!
Q: I am 17 years old, size 16, and feel
great about myself. I love to shop and
ferret out all sorts of great buys. I
recently went into a department at a
store that was not plus-size (I often do
this) and picked some things off the
rack. The saleswoman actually said to
me, .. "Oh, those will never fit you. We
have another department for girls as big
as you!' I was mortified. It seemed that
everybody on the floor heard her and
was staring at me. I just smiled and
walked into the dressing room and sat
down. Tears came to my eyes. What
would have been the proper response?
A: Some people! Really! I'm 'sure the company
that employs her would like to know
that she is turning away business from a
prized 17 -year-old customer who feels
good about herself and wants' to spend
money. Shame on her! The money lost
from this happening every day to women
could keep a Third World country from
disaster. I know because I've been there
and have walked out (in tears) of many
stores. Unfortunately, most women size 14
and up have at one time or another been
through it too. My suggestion is to inform
either her boss or the company she works
for. Do this after you have had some time
to cool off. Telling the saleslady off would
have done no one any good. Try not to 5
take it personally. Just keep feeling great 6
about yourself. Attitudes and times take a
while to change ... be patient