Have the latest blog and message board posts sent automatically to your computer (via RSS). It's easy & it's free.
In her book True Beauty (Putnam, 1996),Emme writes:
"Go ahead and cast a bigger shadow ... Our self-esteem
doesn't have to take a body blow just because we're
fuller and rounder than the girl on the cover of
Cosmo." Here, Emme, the world's first full-figured supermodel,
offers Mode readers wisdom to live by.
Q: I was recently on the checkout line at
the supermarket when Mr. Right appeared
behind me. As we struck up a conversation,
I nearly broke out in hives when I
realized that he had a basket full oHat-free
food; I, two pints of Ben & Jerry's. My
tongue was immediately tied. What would
have been the best way to handle this?
A: My suggestion is untie your tongue and
invite him over for a banana split! He'd
probably take you up on your offer faster
than he could ask "When?" The poor guy
probably hasn't had ice cream in years, and
who better than you to be the one to show
him the way. You know the old saying:
"The best way to a man's heart is through
his stomach." Who needs fat-free-overlyprocessed-
tastes-like-cardboard food when
there's flavor to savor.
The key is, once ~e start taking responsibility
for fulfilling and curbing our own
appetites, the guilt in giving ourselves permission
to eat all foods in moderation will
be gone. What better way to start than
with a potential new love?
Q: I recently went to the theater and as
the orchestra began to play, a very noisy
latecomer was trying to get to her seat.
When she got to me, she said loudly, "If
you weren't so big, I could get through
here." I refrained from belting her, but I
was so angry, she ruined the whole show
for me. Any suggestion for how to cope with insulting sizism?
A: Congratulations on your composure,
and good for you for not stooping to her
level. Isn't it sad that insecure people need
to lash out at others when they are in the
wrong? Obviously her lateness was a much
bigger problem than your size. Does she
have the right to use you to blow off
steam? No! It's not fair, and you're not
alone. It happens to all of us. Can you
change the world? No. Can you change the
perception some people have of large
women? Sometimes. I find expressing my
feelings about an offhand comment like
that, no matter how silly or weird I might
feel doing it, helps me clear up anger that
might ultimately turn into insecurity. You
could say something like: "Miss, you're
being rude to me and also to the performers.
Please take your seat." Remember,
grace is always more dignified than hatred.
1'm sure she made a bigger fool of herself
than of you.
Q: I just got home from a date with a guy
who was friendly, open, and very attracted
to me, or so he said and showed by the
sexy body contact. He called me after the
date to say what a great time he had, and
to my surprise said, "You know, you'd be
perfect if you lost I5 pounds!' And then
he asked me on a second date!This seems
like a double message, and I don't know
what to make of it.
A: Your control-freak radar must have just
gone up to the moon. My suggestion: Go
on the second date and get the 411. If
you're not comfortable questioning him
about his stupid remark face to face, give
him a friendly call and edge it into the
conversation. Key: Don't put him on the
spot; humor always works best. After hearing
his response, you will have a better
idea of where he is coming from and
whether or not this guy is good for you.
The most destructive thing you can do
here is be left in a position to wonder. That
will make you forever uncomfortable with
him. Love should never depend on pounds.
If he can't cope-NEXT!
Q: You are famous for your crusade to
instill confidence in full-figured women, but
you are a model. What about the rest of us?
A: Confidence is not something everyone is
born with. It is most often learned. I need
confidence each time I go to a booking,
appe~r on national TV, or deliver a lecture.
Undeniably, we can all feel fabulous, model
or not. But it's important to go inward and
dismantle negative feedback we give ourselves
and make room for positive habits. I
visualize confidence as building blocks; one
of those blocks is trust. Trust others that
they are not thinking the worst of you.
Trust that what you have to say is worthwhile.
When we practice trust, confidence
and faith follow closely behind. Faith is yet
another building block. It backs up the
belief that what you are doing is right for
you. How you look is right for you. What I 3
found through my confidence is that I had
to accept who I am without gaining or los- (5
ing weight. I had to trust that my goals
and aspirations would be accomplished if! 1E
did the work. One step at a time.


